There you were, happily (ish) plodding along with your job, or the life you had got used to, or your career choice. And then, wham, a global pandemic shook everything up in dramatic fashion.
And you realised that things could be different, and that different could feel better.
Now here we are and things are “getting back to normal”, and actually, you aren’t sure you want that version of normal. You’ve seen this better version of life, and bloody hell, it means that you have freedom, you have choice, you have options.
But how on Earth do you know which options to choose? What if you pick the wrong one and you end up in a worse position than before? What if you’ve already started the wheels of change, and you are panicking because it doesn’t feel right? What if the change was thrust upon you, and you just don’t know how to make things feel normal again?
Change is scary because it’s risky. And it’s scary because it removes your sense of control. And it’s scary because it’s disruptive. When we think about change we’re reminded of the randomness of the world we live in and how we can’t control every outcome of change.
Most people, like you and me, don’t like the randomness of our universe. We’re always trying to put things in order and tidy up the disorder and the chaos. We tend to plump for the simplest solutions:
Fear of change: stay the same
Unhappy in work: get a raise
Relationship gone stale: a bit on the side
Feeling unsettled: read a self-help book
Not seeing the business results you want: back to the PAYE job
Want a stretch job: more training
Finding change difficult: self-reproach
These are usually poor solutions though and they keep you stuck. How many self-help books or blog posts have you read trying to find the solutions to uncertainty? (have any of them worked?); how many training courses have you done thinking that your imposter syndrome will melt away if only you have enough credentials? (newsflash: it will not!); how many times have you asked “what’s wrong with me?” (the answer is nothing, nothing is wrong with you: the problem is you aren’t using the right solutions).
What if there was a solution that would get you exactly what you want? Something proven that would move the dial so that change isn’t scary scary anymore?
What if you could remove the fear? How would that feel? What would you be able to achieve if you weren’t getting in your own way?
Here’s what: anything! Fear and doubt are the number one things that hold you back. They keep you up at night wondering how things could turn out, and what you can do to stop yourself from failing. And ultimately that keeps you stuck. Or it encourages you to take a baby step when you have to take a leap to get what you want.
Now, those poor solutions above are things that my clients and I have all tried. When I was in a job I didn’t like I used to read self-help books endlessly.
And they didn’t work. Because it’s hard to appraise yourself and your behaviours objectively. So I was missing fundamentally important insights (predominately that I couldn’t “fix” myself into liking a job that didn’t align with my values).
One of my clients had gone round in circles for years: they constantly refreshed their skills with accreditation and certification, but it meant that each time they progressed to the next step in their career, it was all old hat, and kind of beneath their skill level when what they really wanted was challenge.
Another client was having a horrible time and was overwhelmed by the hustle-culture at their company. They secured a 40% pay increase and a promise of changes: and unsurprisingly, when those changes didn’t materialise, continued to feel the same crushing sense of dread about going to work. The higher salary predictably did not soften the blow. They kept falling into the magical thinking of “maybe things will get better”. Ultimately their workplace was toxic, and sometimes there’s nothing to be done but change.
Which is exactly why you need to work with a coach.
By working with a coach you can remove 90% of the fear (you need that 10% to stop you being reckless). You can create certainty that you are going to succeed and confidence to do just that. You’ll know that when the going gets tough, you have the skills and tools to manage.
Coaching enables you to fully understand yourself and what motivates you so that decision making becomes easy and you are no longer overwhelmed by confusing choices.
You learn to objectively appraise your situation and to come up with the kinds of solutions that remove the effects of fear, self-doubt, imposter-syndrome, indecision and self-recrimination.
Without the background noise of uncertainty you’ll be able to strategise for the future that you want, need and deserve. And you’ll get the support to take the actions you need to to achieve that.
One to one coaching with me:
I currently offer (these details are correct as of 16 June 2021, but will be subject to restructuring and price increases soon thereafter):
The Emergency Kit: One Off Coaching Session
Suitable for: I mostly recommend these for people that have been coached by me before and need to refocus and get back on track.
Or as a power-hour to provide intense focus on an issue that you want to resolve or to kickstart your change.
The Intensive: Six Coaching Sessions
Suitable for: ongoing change, decision making, establishing work-life balance.
The intensive will get you unstuck, clearer about what you want, will enable you to
plan and strategise, and to start to take action.
How this offer will change in the future: I am going to add two further options to the 6 session option: a three session programme which is a little lighter at the pocket but offers a lot of value in terms of helping you to make decisions, find clarity and get support; and a premium 10 session package that will include a my full product suite including self-help sheets, text support via the Voxer app, and additional support and accountability for the action-taking required to make change happen. If you are interested in these, please get in touch with firstname.lastname@example.org to be added to the waiting list or to have a quick chat.
Revise and Recalibrate
Suitable for: Ongoing support for small business owners and freelancers. The best manager you (n)ever had.
Also useful for career changers who need support with planning and implementing that change.
Book a chemistry call with me if you’d like to discuss any of these options. It would be great to have an informal, no obligation chat with you. You can access chemistry call bookings here.
I'm Jodie Lamb and I have been running Trevnee Coaching since early 2020. I've been an accredited life coach since 2008. I focus on Careers and Change. I work with people that are either thinking about changing things in their work and want a plan and support with acting on the plan; and people that are experiencing any kind of change in their lives and need help to make the most of it.
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