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The Ultimate Guide to Living a Happier Life: Tips and Strategies for a Fulfilling Lifestyle

Jodie Lamb

It’s January. It’s that time of year when lots of us turn towards self-improvement.

 

Personally, I think that self-improvement is a weird concept. Chances are, you are already pretty great. I favour the idea of creating a life that makes you feel peaceful, engaged and cared for (both by yourself and others).

 

This is the first article in a series in which I will go into greater depth of how you can make these changes. But for now, here are the headlines. (if you want to be notified about upcoming posts, sign up to my newsletter The Remindful here)

 

The first thing to say is that it doesn’t matter how quickly or slowly you go. This is about you, your comfort, and your happiness. It’s about creating a life well lived, not about punishing yourself by inflicting change on yourself because you think you should. Improvement, if that’s a word you are wedded to, can mean many things, and it doesn’t have to fall under conventional metrics of success.


A cup of coffee with a spiral notebook and pen

Here are 14 headline tips that will help you create more joy and satisfaction through a fulfilling lifestyle.

 

1.        Get very well acquainted with what matters to you most.

Happiness is not the absence of pain, but the appreciation and pleasure in what matters to you.


Tip: Keep a daily record of 3 Good Things. They don’t need to be big things. They could be as small as discovering a delicious ice cream flavour, or as big as winning a lucrative contract for your business – but we’re not ranking good experiences. They all matter. Paying special attention to the and writing them down for at least a month will habituate your brain to look for the positives and will have beneficial effects on your mood.

 


2.        Everyone benefits from therapy (spoiler, it’s good for your physical and mental wellbeing).

Nobody is free of emotional pain, confusion or difficulty. Sometimes we need therapy for anxiety, depression or other mental health difficulties. Other times we need it to help us make sense of events. Yet other times to make sense of ourselves.


Therapy doesn’t have to be something we only turn to in times of turmoil. It can be just as useful when everything is going well.

 

3.        Do more of what lights you up, and less of what doesn’t.

How many things in life do you do from obligation, and how many things do you do that bring a sparkle to your eye?


I see a lot of coaching clients who feel a lot of shame about doing what they enjoy because they think it’s selfish, or because they think they should prioritise others’ needs over their own.


Our obligations and responsibilities are important, of course they are. But it doesn’t have to be an either or. Find space for you by stopping at least one thing that drags you down, and starting one thing that buoys you up.

 

4.        Set good boundaries around your time, energy and emotions.

Learning to decide what’s important and to say no to what isn’t is a huge life-skill. Saying yes to everything and everyone is the quickest way to feeling resentful, dissatisfied and unhappy.


Setting good boundaries isn’t about being an a**ehole. It’s about prioritising your own wellbeing and peace of mind.

 

5.        Learn to live by the mantra that good enough is good enough.

Not everyone is afflicted by perfectionism, but if you are, experiment with completing things to 70% of the standard you usually do. It will liberate you, and chances are your 70% is many people’s 100%.

 

6.        Challenge yourself regularly (but not too much).

The notion of getting out of our comfort zone is one that we’ve happily adopted. And the assumption is that it’s good to feel uncomfortable, and bad to feel comfortable.


But have you stopped to ask why?


Challenge and discomfort aren’t the same thing.


Challenge can be exciting and exhilarating and it can feel safe. Challenge can happen incrementally. It can be fulfilling without being painful.


Aim to do new things to keep your spark and interest going, aim for enjoyment and expansion, aim to take up the space in the world you deserve to, because there’s no moral superiority in discomfort.

 

7.        Take care of your body – sleep, eat, move well.

We aren’t brains without bodies or bodies without brains. Everything is interconnected. Taking care of your body makes it work better, which makes your mind work better.

 

Do what you can to eat well, sleep well, and move well, whatever that looks like for you.

 

When your body is well taken care of it responds better to stress which means that you are more able to comfortably make the changes you want.

 

8.        Take care of your mind – always be learning, stay flexible, pursue hobbies.

Active minds are healthier minds. Do whatever you can to stimulate yours from problem solving to reading to learning new skills or information.

 

9.        Practise self-compassion.

Be kind a gentle with yourself. Harsh criticism will almost always keep you stuck. Congratulate yourself when you do well, and forgive yourself when you don’t.

 

10.  Understand self-care, and do what it takes to look after yourself.

Self care isn’t some wishy-washy idea involving spa days (nothing wrong with a spa day though). It’s about being mindful of your needs and taking time to fill your own cup so that you have the energy and enthusiasm to deal with life’s challenges; and the self-acceptance to enjoy life’s pleasures.


I have created a lovely, supportive free guide to self-care that you can download here to help you fill your cup.

 

11.  If you are a woman in perimenopause or menopause and it is affecting you physically or mentally, talk to your GP about what they can do to help you, and educate yourself on what you can do to help yourself.

70% of women experience noticeable (often debilitating) symptoms when their hormone levels drop from the age of around 35 onwards.


Our hormones affect all parts and functions of our bodies, so it’s important to take particular care of ourselves when this happens.


Be your own cheerleader and get the support you need whether that’s through hormonal therapy or lifestyle. This is can be a difficult transition because of the physical changes we undergo.

 

12.  Consider going slower, not faster.

We worship at the alter of fast paced productivity in our culture. But ask yourself why. There are different ways of doing things that are just as valid, but we often accept this particular way and it can keep us stuck and dissatisfied. Consider what that costs you to chase productivity as a measure of success, and how it benefits you. And perhaps what you'll discover is that you'll want to slow down, not speed up.

 

13.  Prioritise connection with other people.

Having good connections with other people makes us live longer, happier lives. It's a simple fact. Nurturing relationships of all different kinds is time well spent.

 
14.  And finally: get a coach who wants to support you with being fully yourself, and living the life you really want to live.

 

A coach can help you to dig into what you really want, and how to get it in a way that suits you and who you are.


A good coach will also help you see where and how to remove obstacles to achieving the life you desire. These are the things that can be difficult to figure out alone, and working with an impartial person whose focus is you can be truly transformative.


 

I hope that this list gives you a great starting place to begin transforming your habits for a more joyful and fulfilling lifestyle.


The temptation is to try to work on everything at once. But something that I have observed with clients time and again is that once you start changing in one area, everything else will follow.

 

You can sign up to The Remindful here for updates on new posts, offers and discounts and news about new courses and group programmes.

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