Does life coaching actually work? And what can life coaching actually do for you?
Coaching is one of those things that if misunderstood can bring out the sceptic in anyone.
The answer to both questions is "it depends".
It depends mostly on what you want, and how much effort you are prepared to do to get it.
There's an unfortunate trend on social media towards making huge claims about what you'll achieve if you get a coach. You'll have material riches beyond your wildest dreams, and all your challenges will be easily swept aside.
Who in their right mind wouldn't be sceptical about that? It sounds pretty sexy though, doesn't it. Part of you wants to believe it. But it is evidently a fantasy. Life coaches aren't genies in bottles.
But a life coach can help you. It's not all that sexy, and it takes work, but a life coach will work with you to decide what you want, they'll help you figure out what makes that thing hard for you to get, what you need to do to eliminate those difficulties, they support you with putting in the work.
In this post I will tell you three of the (numerous) things that life coaching can do for you.
1. Life Coaching Will Make You Focus On What is Important
All kinds of people work with coaches at different stages of their lives.
The thing that unifies these people is that they want to make a change of some kind. And, for whatever reason, it's proving more difficult than they thought.
At this point our genie in a bottle coach might step in and do their magic. And, hey presto, problem solved. Thing achieved. Bam!
Trouble is, the reasons that you can't make those things happen in the first place are complicated. Sure, you may not have the skills or experience yet.
But it could also be other things:
The worry that the change isn't going to fulfilling you and isn't worth the risk.
That you think you are fundamentally incapable of making it happen.
That you fear you'll show yourself up.
That you think you could be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.
That it's better and safer to stay where you are even if you don't like it. Better the devil you know and all that.
That you are worried about how changing will affect your relationships.
That you know you lack the knowledge and expertise you need.
And a whole host of other reasons. Sound familiar?
Part of the coach's role is to help you to figure all that stuff out.
They do this by asking questions so that you dig into what kind of change would be fulfilling. They help you audit your skills and work out what new things you need to learn. They'll help you decide whether working towards what you want is, on balance, going to be worth the effort for you. They'll support you while you weigh up the risks, or help you to find less risky ways to do what you want to do. They'll ask you what staying the same is costing you, and whether changing is likely to cost more. And so on and so on. They'll make you get very very clear!
They do this by helping you to understand what is most important to you. If you say that your goal is success, your coach will want you to be clear exactly what success means to you.
They want to know this because they want you to know it. To be motivated enough to do the work to get what you want, you have to have a clear idea about why you want it.
2. Life Coaching Can Improve Your Motivation
Don’t let anyone tell you that coaching is easy. It isn’t. If making changes were simple then you would have made them. You are an intelligent and motivated person. In reality change takes a concerted effort and some complicated thinking. It has a number of contributing elements from conception and contemplation to planning and execution. And each of those elements can be hard. The effort that goes into it is part of what makes change rewarding, but it’s also what can make it daunting.
One of the great things about coaching is that it helps you to reflect on the intrinsic reward brought by change. Frequently in life people focus on difficulties and obstacles.
Coaching encourages you to see the bigger picture. The enjoyment that you can derive from solving problems and facing challenges. The sense of satisfaction to be had along the way to change. Your coach is your task master, your journey companion, and your cheerleader. Your coach can keep you going forward beyond the point that you can keep yourself going.
A good coach has a process, but knows that people are unique, so will tailor their motivation to your personality. They will learn from you whether tough love is what will motivate you, or whether you thrive on praise and encouragement, or when to just let you to get on with it. They will choose the right approach for the right moment.
Change is different for everyone. Sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes it takes more time. But having someone in your corner who is as invested in the changes you are making as you are is invaluable.
3. Life Coaching Turns Confusion Into Clarity
It’s a cliché, but we spend many of our waking hours at our place of work. It isn’t an exaggeration to say that it can be soul crushing to be in the wrong place doing the wrong things. I have been there myself working in theatre in a role that on paper looked exciting and fulfilling. But the reality was that I was miserable. I had looked at my skill set, and at the tasks of the job, and I had thought a little about the kinds of things that fulfilled me. But I hadn’t thought hard enough about what deep fulfilment would require. (I know now) for me deep thinking, autonomy and meaningful connection are what I need at work. I found all of those things in the academic world. But also some drawbacks that I couldn’t over-look like meaningless bureaucracy, inefficiency and arbitrary competitiveness.
Coaching can help circumnavigate some of the dead ends and culs-de-sac of working life, so that you can get to what is more deeply fulfilling more quickly. Academia, for me, was a decision made off the back of coaching. And it was absolutely the right choice. It has added richness and depth to my life and I have met some excellent people through it. I do, however, wish that coaching had been around when I embarked on a career in the arts. I might have balked at the first job interview so full of red flags that I should have run a mile.
What coaching can offer is a sense of clarity. Your coach will help you to see through the excitement of change to what really matters. They will help you to avoid having to learn by costly experience, and rather to plan and strategise according to what you want and need.
Hi,
I'm Jodie Lamb, accredited life coach since 2008. I founded Trevnee Coaching in 2020.
Trevnee coaching is for people like you. People who are motivated to make career change, or lifestyle improvements, but aren't sure where to start, or that need a cheerleader to smooth the way.
I can help you find clarity, make decisions, and take challenging action to get what you want.
I e-mail The Remindful every week(ish). If you sign up you'll get free bite-sized life coaching straight to your inbox, as well as news and offers (but no spam).
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